India is a whole other universe, unlike any place in the world. Things are rarely as they seem, people say anything but don’t consider it lying, personal space and privacy are words that probably do not even exist in Hindi, there are smells you could never imagine or figure out, and you will see more naked people than you probably have in your whole life (unless you live in Croatia).

Chaotic India

One thing that can be very difficult to get used to is the constant questions by random strangers. You might be walking down a little street, sitting in the train station, eating lunch in a restaurant, in the bathroom, lying on the beach, or maybe standing in a non-line at the bank to get change. Then out of nowhere someone is three inches from your face launching into a nonstop Q and A of your life with such speed that the A part doesn’t finish before the next Q. At first this seems novel and quaint but after the twelfth person has asked you the same questions in the last five minutes while you are trying to eat your lunch, it gets a little irritating.

So what questions should you expect? Any and all. Most are harmless, some are laying the foundation to sell you something, some are gathering information that may be used against you later, and a few are solely used as a way to make wild and unfounded accusations about you, your country, and your way of life. Below is a list of examples, all of which we actually have been asked.

Mostly Harmless:
Q: What is your name?
Q: Which country? (to which they reply “very nice country” or “I have a brother there” unless you say Pakistan, which is fun)
Q: What is your job?
Q: How long in India?
Q: Do you like India?
Q: How much money do you make?

Laying the foundation:
Q: Which country? (to which they reply “very rich country”)
Q: Just arrive? (touting lodging, taxi or rickshaw)
Q: Where are you going? (rickshaw, shop, or lodging)
Q: I am studying English, can I practice with you? (Sometimes harmless but more often looking for a “donation” for their studies; middle class begging)
Q: How much money do you make? (or in other words “how much can I milk you for”)

Used against you:
Q: Where are you staying? (Can be harmless but better safe than sorry)
Q: Where are you going? (same as above)
Q: How long have you been in India (mostly harmless but often used to gauge how “green” you are, default answer 2-3 months)
Q: Is this your first time to India? (Same as above, answer is always no)
Q: What do you think of Indian people? (mostly harmless but used often to pick a verbal fight)

Unfounded and wild accusations (a small example):
Q: What country? A: America. Q: Why do you hate Muslims? A: Dumbfounded look… we don’t hate Muslims. Tens of thousands of Muslims live in America because they have religious freedoms that don’t exist in many other places. Q: Yes, but they are oppressed and not real Muslims. A: dumbfounded look….

Q: What country? A: America. Q: How many houses do you own? A: Ummm…. none. Q: Everyone in America has two houses. A: Ummm…. no

Q: What country? A: America. Q: Leans over to his friend and says, “They don’t have cars in America, they just fly everywhere.” A: Ummm… that’s not really true. We have a big country but most people enjoy driving. Most people own a car. Q: No… everyone flies in airplanes.

Q: Are you married? A: Yes (we always say yes, but it doesn’t always work) Q: You need to put up the hood on the rickshaw. A: Why? (Saben is about 10 inches too tall for the pedal rickshaw hood thing). Q: Because all foreigners are sex crazy and locals don’t want to see that. A: WHAT?! Q: All foreigners are sex crazy, all foreigners do is have sex so the police make you put up the hood if you are a foreigner. A: I think I’m getting out here. (We asked a police officer—turns out they have had a rash of bag snatching from pedal rickshaws and were trying to prevent an easy grab).

Most of these questions are harmless or at the most someone just trying to edge in to sell you something but always keep a weary eye and don’t be afraid to lie. We rarely give anyone the correct information because it’s of no use to them and has the possibility of harming us (Q: “What country?” A: “Sudan” Q: “very nice country” is one of our favorites). The benefit of a “white lie” is that you can safe guard your self, have a little fun but at the same time engage with the local population. Some of our favorite conversations from this trip have come from question bombardments. So find a balance between keeping yourself safe and at the same time enjoying the culture and people of India.