Day 96: Salar de Uyuni, Bolivia

It was a cold morning after a cold night. We got up to go shower and right outside the bathroom was the old hag who runs the place we were staying, giving us an especially evil eye accompanied by a firmly wrinkled grimace. We skirted by her, averting our eyes as we did in case she could project daggers from her eyeballs or maybe breathe fire.

The hotel we stayed at, Hotel Avenida,  was about the cheapest place in town and one of the sorta cleaner ones. But it was more like a HI hostel with tons and tons of ridiculous rules that we posted up every 10 feet. You couldn`t even use the toilet without being accosted by a sign telling you to poop a certain way! We were glad to get out of that place and headed to meet up with our tour group at Red Planet`s office. We were a group of 6 with a spanish speaking driver/guide and his spanish speaking wife and their 2 year old daughter.

First stop was the train graveyard, the final resting place for lots of old dilapidated trains that used to carry minerals down from Potosi`s mines to be shipped out and refined and later sold. Now they lay rusting, serving only as a photo op for tourists and a playground for the local kids.

Rusty the locomotive

Conductor Lindsey

Then it was the long drive into the flats, blinding white reflection that no sunglasses could stop. A vastness beyond compare. We stopped by the worksite of some local salt miners. The salt here is processed and sent to be distributed all over the world as table salt and preservative. We could help but eat some. It was salty to say the least, the saltiest salty ever to enter your mouth. It had the texture of rock salt. Needless to say no salt was needed for our fantastic lunch of llama steaks , salad and rice.

Salt piled by salt mines ready to be sent to a table near you

Tasty Llama

Lots more driving til we stopped at Fish Island, an island in the middle of nowhere in the salt flats covered in monstrous cacti that could eat your face. Then some time for “funny pictures” as Oscar put it.

View from the island

Spike the cactus

And I deamed of the worlds largest bottle opener

Lin squishing one of our fellow travelers

The salt flats actually used to be lakes so at one time (about 40,000 years ago), Fish Island was actually an island surrounded by water. (more on fish island here) Standing atop of the island you can see for miles and miles along the great white expanse and the surrounding volcanos in the distance a truely awesome sight, a desolate desert of white.

High on the hill

A Spaniard, 2 Mexicans and 3 Americans walk into a bar. It sounds like the beginning of a joke but seriously our group was actually comprised of those 6 components. And we did indeed all walk into a bar together. After a long day of driving and driving…and more driving, we were ready to be as far away from our jeep as possible so we walked to “town“ where we had stopped for the night. The town consisted of about 30 people and the only “bar“ that existed was actually a small convenience store that sold beer along with cookies, toilet paper, soap and other miscellaneous goods. Since we were 6, we all pitched in to buy 3 liters of beer to share. The owner was astonished at such a large purchase and happily invited us into the VIP lounge–his kitchen with a TV! Since 3 of us spoke Spanish and 3 of us English, we had a great time trying to communicate. But the more we drank the better the gringos` Spanish got, well at least we thought so! And we got to see the wrap up of the Agentina vs Bolivia soccer game, where Bolivia surprised everyone and beat Argentina 6-1!

Us in our VIP suite, bottle service and all

We took our time nursing our drinks not wanting to go back to the hotel until supper time–we were all starving!! The meals are good on this tour (a rarity) but they`re really far between and leaving our stomachs growling and begging for a snack at least. We stumbled back in utter darkness with only a tiny keychain flashlight and lingering rain clouds overhead blocking out the moon. We got back just with a minute to spare as our dinner was served: Quinoa soup and bread. We were all grateful but secretly disappointed. As hungry as we all were we had hoped for something a bit more hearty and filling than soup.

The other 3 tour groups eyed us with smirks as they ate their spaghetti. And then good ol` Marco (our guide) brings out a big plate of chicken and plantains! Woohoo–we won`t starve after all! With full bellies and a couple of hours left before lights out (the hotel ran on a generator), we played card games in Spanish and laughed as we tried to figure out the rules across languages. In fact, I guess I should say we even played charades!